Back in the days of childhood I was a very happy fellow, even when I was in trouble I remember just brushing it off and happiness was always there. I am not sure what changed or when, as I grew up I learned that to be overly happy was not normal, to be happy in time of sadness, like death in the family or an accident or anything of the sort, was being irresponsible. WHY? But slowly and surely I masked the happy out of my face, but still underlying happiness was there waiting for the proper time to come again. Many time I had to pretend to be sad so to please someone, mostly my parents. And time after time, when I could get away and be alone I would laugh it all off telling myself that it wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Is that being irresponsible, insensitive? I was just happy no matter what. And one day later on in life a caught myself singing, or no reason just singing and a stern inner voice shut the singing off and replace the grin on my face by a frown, it is not a time to be happy said the voice, Oh ok said I. Until much later actually years later I caught on with it and argue, “I can be happy if I want to”. And slowly very slowly climbing the hill I found myself to be happy again. The voice is still here admonishing, but I don’t care I keep on singing and laughing anyway. Every so often the question pop in my head,” why are you happy”? don’t know don’t care I am that’s all.
Reading the notes today I am realizing that it is ok to be happy even if the world is falling apart there is always something to be happy about. Even in the worse conditions there is something good taking place. Ever since I was a child I could not understand the sadness at funerals. Probably, because I somehow new that we choose when we are ready to go we just go.
I love the scientific explanation, the neuro-plasticity, the ability to re wire our brains to function the way we want it to. The ANT’s attacking the RAS and the reaction that follow if we allow it and that’s the big secret IF I ALLOW IT. Lately I am choosing to “let go” “release” thoughts that I don’t need in my life. In just a few days things are changing to my amazement although I shouldn’t be surprise but I am and I love it. Another life changing book, I will have to build a library, or give the books away when I am done with them.
What a ride, this is better than buggy jumping or zip line, or rock climbing or any other severe sports I love. This is life changing and long lasting, creating from here a new world of possibilities.
Happy for no reason, Marci Shimoff
